My ongoing recollection of my 2003 trip to Alaska continues...
The Great Adventure
Part 3
So Dad's on board with me going to Alaska. Strange. Definitely not the reaction I expected.
But I only have the remainder of my Friday to prep myself for the bitter cold of Alaska, leaving me no time to dwell on my Dad.
I take the money he loans me and I rush out the door. As I'm heading out Dad says, "There's a thrift store in Old Encinitas. I bet you can find pants and jackets there pretty cheap."
Still dumbfounded I thank my Dad and head out the door.
A million thoughts are racing through my head as I navigate the streets of my neighborhood and head towards downtown Encinitas. Streets that I learned to drive on. Streets that I know so well, I don't have to pay very much attention to get where I'm going. Streets that allow me some time to second guess my decision to go to Alaska.
"What am I thinking? Alaska? Do you know what you're doing Dave? You've never been to Alaska. You've never even truly been on a boat. Sure you've done the whale watching cruises and played around on a river boat at Three Rivers. But a "seafaring vessel"? You don't know anything about that! You're going to go up there and get yourself and everyone else on that ship killed!"
My nerves are quickly getting the best of me. I must calm down. I mean how hard can it be to work on a boat at sea? Not to say it's easy work, because it's not. But it can't be that difficult to learn. I'll be fine. Besides, being a seaman is in my blood. After all, I'm the son of a sailor!
At last I arrive at the thrift shop. There is plenty of clothes here for me. Denim jackets, pants, sweaters. I completely load up on warm clothes. The first true set of warm clothes I've bought in years. I mean really, how often do I dress warm in So. Cal.? Not very! I usually can get away with my soccer sweatsuits and windbreakers.
But Alaska? That's a whole new game baby! They have glaciers and snow up there!
I pay for my clothes and explain to the friendly woman behind the counter all that has happened in the previous 15 hours or so. She smiles warmly at my enthusiasm and gives me a polite, "You are an adventurous spirit aren't you," as she hand me my bag and receipt. I get the feeling she didn't really care about my story at all. But at least she was nice about it.
So with bag in hand I head into the car and head to Becky's house to meet up with Jason as we tell all our friends the news.
-Dave
8/08/2004
7/21/2004
"And you run and you rush to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking"
My good friend Daniel suggested I start to write down the stories I always talk about... I'm not sure if I should write these in a past tense or like I'm still in that time... I'll just free write it and see how it goes. So here we go...
The Great Adventure
Part 1
Mid June 1993
So I've been out of high school for a month now. I've been enjoying my summer, for the most part. It has been made bittersweet by the sudden ending of my year long relationship with Tayva. God I love Tayva. Breaking up with her has been so difficult. I should have seen it coming. I've been so immature about so much of our relationship, I can't blame her for looking for what she needed somewhere else. But for her to leave me after all we shared, and immediately end up with someone else? That's hard to take. But I'm trying to be strong about this, and I'm trying desperately to hang on to all the friends we share. That's not easy since they pretty much all knew her first. I came into this circle because of her, and I'm afraid I'll find myself out of it for the same reason.
Anyway, it's Thursday and nothing much has been going on today. Jason called me tonight and said he had a problem that he needed my opinion on. This has of course made me very pleased, since Jason is one of the friends I am fearful of losing because of my fallout with Tayva. For him to seek my advice on a personal problem is comforting. It means I might not lose all my friends after all.
Jason's problem is, in my opinion, a fairly simple one. He and his father haven't gotten along in years. In fact, his Dad lives in Alaska and Jason rarely sees or hears from him. It seems Jason's dad (Lee), has found himself stranded in Seattle, WA for some reason. I guess he was down there for a job or something, regardless he's had to find himself a way home to Anchorage. Lee hunted around and eventually found a boat that needs a crew for a trip to Anchorage. The boat is an old Navy Land, Craft, Utility (LCU) vessel that was bought by an oil rig company in Anchorage for use as a supply ship. They bought the boat in Santa Barbara and have been piloting it up the West Coast towards Alaska. Somewhere just before they reached Puget Sound they blew out their engines. So the ship and the original crew have been holed up in Westport, WA for three months or so while the engines get rebuilt. As a result, the oil company has recalled the original crew because of a "days out" limit. They reached it weeks ago. So now they need people to man this ship as it travels the Inside Passage and crosses the Gulf of Alaska to get to Anchorage. So Lee got himself on this crew as a means of working while he concurrently makes his way back home.
Ok, so what is Jason's problem exactly? Well... turns out Lee wants Jason to come up and work on the boat with him. The ship needs another deck hand and Lee volunteered Jason for the job. Jason says that they are going to pay him $250/day while he's working, and they'll pay for his flight back home. The only thing he has to pay for is getting to Seattle so that Lee can pick him up and take him over to Westport.
Jason would make enough money to pay for an entire year at the Junior College in a month. Cool, right? I thought so. But Jason doesn't think he can handle a month or two with his Dad on this ship. I asked him how big the ship is. He says it's 135 feet long and three decks. That seems like a big enough place to me. I suggested to Jason that he could handle it, that getting "away" from his father if he needed to wouldn't be that hard. He didn't agree.
I told him he'd be a fool if he didn't take the opportunity to make his next year of college financially easier to handle. He agreed, and said that the thought had already occurred to him. Turns out his request for advice was really turning into a, "help me say no to my father" call. While I understand the desire to flee from one of your parents, I could not, in good conscience, tell him to say no to this opportunity. Besides, it looked to me like his Dad was trying to offer an olive branch.
So I came up with a possible solution.
"Jason, do they have everyone they need? Or might they need another deck hand or something?"
There was a pause as Jason contemplated my questions.
Then he replied, "I don't know. Are you suggesting that you'd go too?"
"Naturally! I need to pay for school next year too. Besides, it sounds like fun."
There was another pause on the other end of the line, then Jason said, "I've got to call them and find out. I really don't know if there is any openings, but I'll ask and call you back!"
With that the line went dead and I began waiting for Jason's call. It's now 11:30pm and I haven't heard from Jason since that call a few hours back. I guess the answer was no. Either that, or Jason told his father to bugger off and he doesn't want to hear my objections to that. Whatever. I'm going to bed.
Part 2
So this morning I woke up around 8am. I still haven't heard from Jason and it's almost 10:30am now. It's Friday, so I'm naturally spending my day just lounging around the house. Dad's home. He's been home a lot since he was laid off by General Physics. It's interesting. He's working for himself now, doing Independent Contracting stuff. He seems happier, even though his income isn't as regular or as high as it was before. I really think the freedom of controlling your own destiny may have something to do with his more relaxed attitude.
10:30, the phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Dave! They need someone else, so my Dad got you hired!"
"Really? That's cool. So I guess we are going to do this then, huh Jason?"
"Yeah. I've already got our plane tickets to Seattle. There's just one thing left to iron out."
"What's that bro?"
"Can your Dad take us to the airport. Tomorrow?" There's a pause on both ends as this sinks in, then Jason finishes, "We need to be there by 6am for our flight."
In my mind I begin to register what he's saying. 6am, Tomorrow, Seattle, Flight... Holy sh...
"Jason? Tomorrow? We leave for Alaska tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Did I forget to tell you when the trip was?"
"Yes. I think you forgot to mention that. Hold on." No turning back now I figure, the ball has already been set in motion. Might as well roll with it. I cover the mouthpiece to the phone and yell to my Dad, "Hey Pop! Can you give Jason and me a ride to the airport in the morning? We need to be there by 6!"
My Dad, firmly planted in the Archie Junker chair reading his daily paper, folds down a corner of his paper to look at me and says, "Ummm sure. Why?"
I brace for the response to this answer, "We are flying to Seattle. We're gonna work on a boat going to Alaska."
A semi-puzzled look comes across Dad's face and then as though he knows something better than I do he smiles and says, "Sure thing," and promptly goes back to his paper.
I stare at him for a moment. His non-chalant attitude about this is kind of weird, I think. I really expected him to respond in a much more animated way. Telling me how dangerous a job on a boat in Alaska can be, or how I shouldn't be so reckless with my life, or that something like this should be more planned out. No, none of that. Just a "Sure thing," and that was it.
I return to the phone, "Jason? He'll do it."
"Great!"
"Ok man, I gotta run. I need to go to the thrift store."
"Why?"
"Jason. I didn't just get back from living in Colorado like you. I have no warm clothes. I don't think tank tops and shorts and flip flops will be appropriate attire in Alaska."
"Oh. Ok. I'll talk to you later!"
"Bye."
I hang up the phone and stare at the kitchen tiles for a moment. Their white ceramic reminding me of snow. Snow. I hadn't seen snow in quite some time. Not since my last visit to my Uncle Rick's in Carson City, NV. I hate the snow. What am I doing going to Alaska?
"Son?"
My father's voice pulls me abruptly out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"You need to get going. It might take a couple of different stores to find warm clothes. This is San Diego after all."
I stare at my Dad again. Who is this man? He's always talking about making a plan for your life, and setting goals. This Alaska thing is probably the most impulsive thing I've ever done in my life and he's acting like I'm going to camp for the summer.
"Um... you're right Dad. Can I borrow some money?"
"Of course."
Weird... really, really, weird.
Ok, that's all for now. Part 3 to come soon!
-Dave
The Great Adventure
Part 1
Mid June 1993
So I've been out of high school for a month now. I've been enjoying my summer, for the most part. It has been made bittersweet by the sudden ending of my year long relationship with Tayva. God I love Tayva. Breaking up with her has been so difficult. I should have seen it coming. I've been so immature about so much of our relationship, I can't blame her for looking for what she needed somewhere else. But for her to leave me after all we shared, and immediately end up with someone else? That's hard to take. But I'm trying to be strong about this, and I'm trying desperately to hang on to all the friends we share. That's not easy since they pretty much all knew her first. I came into this circle because of her, and I'm afraid I'll find myself out of it for the same reason.
Anyway, it's Thursday and nothing much has been going on today. Jason called me tonight and said he had a problem that he needed my opinion on. This has of course made me very pleased, since Jason is one of the friends I am fearful of losing because of my fallout with Tayva. For him to seek my advice on a personal problem is comforting. It means I might not lose all my friends after all.
Jason's problem is, in my opinion, a fairly simple one. He and his father haven't gotten along in years. In fact, his Dad lives in Alaska and Jason rarely sees or hears from him. It seems Jason's dad (Lee), has found himself stranded in Seattle, WA for some reason. I guess he was down there for a job or something, regardless he's had to find himself a way home to Anchorage. Lee hunted around and eventually found a boat that needs a crew for a trip to Anchorage. The boat is an old Navy Land, Craft, Utility (LCU) vessel that was bought by an oil rig company in Anchorage for use as a supply ship. They bought the boat in Santa Barbara and have been piloting it up the West Coast towards Alaska. Somewhere just before they reached Puget Sound they blew out their engines. So the ship and the original crew have been holed up in Westport, WA for three months or so while the engines get rebuilt. As a result, the oil company has recalled the original crew because of a "days out" limit. They reached it weeks ago. So now they need people to man this ship as it travels the Inside Passage and crosses the Gulf of Alaska to get to Anchorage. So Lee got himself on this crew as a means of working while he concurrently makes his way back home.
Ok, so what is Jason's problem exactly? Well... turns out Lee wants Jason to come up and work on the boat with him. The ship needs another deck hand and Lee volunteered Jason for the job. Jason says that they are going to pay him $250/day while he's working, and they'll pay for his flight back home. The only thing he has to pay for is getting to Seattle so that Lee can pick him up and take him over to Westport.
Jason would make enough money to pay for an entire year at the Junior College in a month. Cool, right? I thought so. But Jason doesn't think he can handle a month or two with his Dad on this ship. I asked him how big the ship is. He says it's 135 feet long and three decks. That seems like a big enough place to me. I suggested to Jason that he could handle it, that getting "away" from his father if he needed to wouldn't be that hard. He didn't agree.
I told him he'd be a fool if he didn't take the opportunity to make his next year of college financially easier to handle. He agreed, and said that the thought had already occurred to him. Turns out his request for advice was really turning into a, "help me say no to my father" call. While I understand the desire to flee from one of your parents, I could not, in good conscience, tell him to say no to this opportunity. Besides, it looked to me like his Dad was trying to offer an olive branch.
So I came up with a possible solution.
"Jason, do they have everyone they need? Or might they need another deck hand or something?"
There was a pause as Jason contemplated my questions.
Then he replied, "I don't know. Are you suggesting that you'd go too?"
"Naturally! I need to pay for school next year too. Besides, it sounds like fun."
There was another pause on the other end of the line, then Jason said, "I've got to call them and find out. I really don't know if there is any openings, but I'll ask and call you back!"
With that the line went dead and I began waiting for Jason's call. It's now 11:30pm and I haven't heard from Jason since that call a few hours back. I guess the answer was no. Either that, or Jason told his father to bugger off and he doesn't want to hear my objections to that. Whatever. I'm going to bed.
Part 2
So this morning I woke up around 8am. I still haven't heard from Jason and it's almost 10:30am now. It's Friday, so I'm naturally spending my day just lounging around the house. Dad's home. He's been home a lot since he was laid off by General Physics. It's interesting. He's working for himself now, doing Independent Contracting stuff. He seems happier, even though his income isn't as regular or as high as it was before. I really think the freedom of controlling your own destiny may have something to do with his more relaxed attitude.
10:30, the phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Dave! They need someone else, so my Dad got you hired!"
"Really? That's cool. So I guess we are going to do this then, huh Jason?"
"Yeah. I've already got our plane tickets to Seattle. There's just one thing left to iron out."
"What's that bro?"
"Can your Dad take us to the airport. Tomorrow?" There's a pause on both ends as this sinks in, then Jason finishes, "We need to be there by 6am for our flight."
In my mind I begin to register what he's saying. 6am, Tomorrow, Seattle, Flight... Holy sh...
"Jason? Tomorrow? We leave for Alaska tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Did I forget to tell you when the trip was?"
"Yes. I think you forgot to mention that. Hold on." No turning back now I figure, the ball has already been set in motion. Might as well roll with it. I cover the mouthpiece to the phone and yell to my Dad, "Hey Pop! Can you give Jason and me a ride to the airport in the morning? We need to be there by 6!"
My Dad, firmly planted in the Archie Junker chair reading his daily paper, folds down a corner of his paper to look at me and says, "Ummm sure. Why?"
I brace for the response to this answer, "We are flying to Seattle. We're gonna work on a boat going to Alaska."
A semi-puzzled look comes across Dad's face and then as though he knows something better than I do he smiles and says, "Sure thing," and promptly goes back to his paper.
I stare at him for a moment. His non-chalant attitude about this is kind of weird, I think. I really expected him to respond in a much more animated way. Telling me how dangerous a job on a boat in Alaska can be, or how I shouldn't be so reckless with my life, or that something like this should be more planned out. No, none of that. Just a "Sure thing," and that was it.
I return to the phone, "Jason? He'll do it."
"Great!"
"Ok man, I gotta run. I need to go to the thrift store."
"Why?"
"Jason. I didn't just get back from living in Colorado like you. I have no warm clothes. I don't think tank tops and shorts and flip flops will be appropriate attire in Alaska."
"Oh. Ok. I'll talk to you later!"
"Bye."
I hang up the phone and stare at the kitchen tiles for a moment. Their white ceramic reminding me of snow. Snow. I hadn't seen snow in quite some time. Not since my last visit to my Uncle Rick's in Carson City, NV. I hate the snow. What am I doing going to Alaska?
"Son?"
My father's voice pulls me abruptly out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, Dad?"
"You need to get going. It might take a couple of different stores to find warm clothes. This is San Diego after all."
I stare at my Dad again. Who is this man? He's always talking about making a plan for your life, and setting goals. This Alaska thing is probably the most impulsive thing I've ever done in my life and he's acting like I'm going to camp for the summer.
"Um... you're right Dad. Can I borrow some money?"
"Of course."
Weird... really, really, weird.
Ok, that's all for now. Part 3 to come soon!
-Dave
7/15/2004
Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
- Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
- Jane Howard, "Families"
Not that I'm complaining in any way! I love that my family feels like they can lean on me for support in their times of need. Honestly, that kind of faith in me is something that makes me feel special and needed.
Eric is a trip. We've not really seen one another much in the past 20 years or so. Actually, we hadn't seen each other in twenty years until Eric's dad died a couple of months ago. We reconnected at the funeral in Indiana.
It's really unfortunate that it often takes a death in a family to actually bring members of that family back together.
Anyway, while in Indiana I told Eric (who was living with Uncle Bob in Houston, TX when he died) that he was welcome to come and stay with me in SD if he'd like to come out. I wasn't just saying what I thought he wanted to hear, I truly meant it. I'll go out of my way to help out people I love. And I love all of my family members.
A few weeks went by and I figured Eric wasn't going to take any of us up on our offers (everyone offered similar helping hands to him). But two weeks ago Eric emailed me and said he was wondering if my offer still stood. Of course it did!
So Eric worked out a few, um, situations in Houston and Tulsa and made his way to SD. He finally arrived here Monday night. Naturally I spent all day Sunday and all day Monday desperately trying to clean house before his arrival. (Thanks to Teesa and Laura for all their help! Laura especially for doing so much without anyone asking her to.)
Teesa was also kind enough to donate her bed to Eric's needs. So by midday Monday, my messy storage room/bedroom had become a dorm style room for two.
Eric seemed pleased to find a bed waiting for him.
It's been a real treat having him here with us. His child like moments of amazement at his actually being here are wonderful. He says he's always wanted to return to SD (he was born here, after all), but he never thought he'd actually make it here it seems. We took him to Las Olas his first full day here and gave him a taste of some of SD's best mexican food. While we waited for our table we sat on the beach as the sun was setting. He spent a good deal of time just standing by the ocean staring out to sea. It was interesting watching him standing there, alone at the edge of the ocean.
I've found myself wondering several times since then, "what was he thinking at that moment?"
I'm sure his thoughts were on his father and on his mother and most likely on his own future.
He's made a big step in coming to San Diego. It's a long way from all that he's become used to in the midwest. He's been helping me park cars for the Surf Soccer Club all week. He's really gotten a kick out of working outside in the pleasant weather, amongst beautiful homes and people and getting paid to do it all.
Of course... he should have worn sunscreen. He's really red now. ;-)
Tomorrow we are doing a bonfire at Moonlight Beach in Encinitas. We're gonna hang at the beach for most of the day and show Eric what our summer's are like. It'll be, as my friend Daniel put it, "a good, relaxing, So-Cal kind of thing to do."
Amen brother... Amen!
-Dave
6/29/2004
A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990) (Willy Wonka) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
My day started out kind of bland. The usual humdrums of existence weighing down upon me. I made my way out into the world before noon. I was hoping to get out sooner than that, but hey, I just couldn't get going, you know?
I went to AAA and finally got my truck insured and registered. It's nice to be able to drive the thing around and not worry about whether or not a cop is tailing me.
I came home and grabbed Donald, we drove to Solana Beach and loaded up a weight machine into my truck that was donated to the Surf Soccer Club. We then went over to the Soares' house and took some photos of a sweet 1930 Ford Model A that we are going to auction on eBay. (The weight set will be auctioned there too. Actually we are going to auction lots of stuff there in the future for the club.) The car was cool, and it was neat to see Donald enjoying that particular piece of history.
Actually, it's always nice to see someone looking upon something they really love. And Donald loves old cars. No doubt about that.
After doing the car thing I headed over to Alissa's. I wasn't sure about stopping by since she sent me a text message that said she was feeling "anti-social to most of the world" or something like that. But I took a gamble and stopped by anyway.
I'm glad I did. I was finally able to deliver the 5X7 of her I printed from our Vegas trip. It's a beautiful photo of a beautiful woman (it's of Alissa). Anyway I had it in a frame and all. She seemed to really like it. I think it may have brightened up her day a bit. We sat around and talked. It was nice. We haven't seen each other in a month since Vegas. But we seemed to just pick up right where we left off. I really enjoy that. I like having a friend that I can just sit with and connect to.
And speaking of connecting. It seems Bryan (with a Y) and I were on the same wavelength today and both had decided today was a good day to talk to one another. We talked for about an hour on the phone late tonight. He's doing really well. He's hit the 200 days sober mark and I am so VERY VERY PROUD of him. He's come a long way since he left San Diego. He even told me that he's agreed to start training for a manager's position at Humperdink's there in Arlington. That's a pretty big step for him. He's actually reached a point in his life where he feels ready to accept some responsibility. That's courageous and a great move forward in his attitude toward life. Way to go Bryan!
That's all for now I think. It's like 3:30am and I should really get to bed. I am going to see Spider Man at midnight tomorrow, er, tonight. And I should really get my beauty rest. I hope Spidey 2 is as good as the hype is making it out to be. I really like Sam Raimi, so it's definitely a hope I have for him to knock this one out of the park. He came damn close with the first one.
Until next time... be good! And if you can't be good, then be good at being bad!
-Dave
Roald Dahl (1916 - 1990) (Willy Wonka) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
My day started out kind of bland. The usual humdrums of existence weighing down upon me. I made my way out into the world before noon. I was hoping to get out sooner than that, but hey, I just couldn't get going, you know?
I went to AAA and finally got my truck insured and registered. It's nice to be able to drive the thing around and not worry about whether or not a cop is tailing me.
I came home and grabbed Donald, we drove to Solana Beach and loaded up a weight machine into my truck that was donated to the Surf Soccer Club. We then went over to the Soares' house and took some photos of a sweet 1930 Ford Model A that we are going to auction on eBay. (The weight set will be auctioned there too. Actually we are going to auction lots of stuff there in the future for the club.) The car was cool, and it was neat to see Donald enjoying that particular piece of history.
Actually, it's always nice to see someone looking upon something they really love. And Donald loves old cars. No doubt about that.
After doing the car thing I headed over to Alissa's. I wasn't sure about stopping by since she sent me a text message that said she was feeling "anti-social to most of the world" or something like that. But I took a gamble and stopped by anyway.
I'm glad I did. I was finally able to deliver the 5X7 of her I printed from our Vegas trip. It's a beautiful photo of a beautiful woman (it's of Alissa). Anyway I had it in a frame and all. She seemed to really like it. I think it may have brightened up her day a bit. We sat around and talked. It was nice. We haven't seen each other in a month since Vegas. But we seemed to just pick up right where we left off. I really enjoy that. I like having a friend that I can just sit with and connect to.
And speaking of connecting. It seems Bryan (with a Y) and I were on the same wavelength today and both had decided today was a good day to talk to one another. We talked for about an hour on the phone late tonight. He's doing really well. He's hit the 200 days sober mark and I am so VERY VERY PROUD of him. He's come a long way since he left San Diego. He even told me that he's agreed to start training for a manager's position at Humperdink's there in Arlington. That's a pretty big step for him. He's actually reached a point in his life where he feels ready to accept some responsibility. That's courageous and a great move forward in his attitude toward life. Way to go Bryan!
That's all for now I think. It's like 3:30am and I should really get to bed. I am going to see Spider Man at midnight tomorrow, er, tonight. And I should really get my beauty rest. I hope Spidey 2 is as good as the hype is making it out to be. I really like Sam Raimi, so it's definitely a hope I have for him to knock this one out of the park. He came damn close with the first one.
Until next time... be good! And if you can't be good, then be good at being bad!
-Dave
6/25/2004
John Evelyn - “Friendship is the golden thread that ties the heart of all the world.”
Had dinner tonight with some old friends. Terry Park and Linda Sabo. Two of the coolest women you're ever likely to meet. We don't get together often enough, but when we do it is always a time filled with laughter and happiness.
I don't have lots of friends, and indeed I don't spend enough time with the ones I do have. But the quality of the time I spend with them is very high, and always worth my time spent.
-Dave
I don't have lots of friends, and indeed I don't spend enough time with the ones I do have. But the quality of the time I spend with them is very high, and always worth my time spent.
-Dave
6/24/2004
Say Anything...
So I'm sitting here, trying to get to sleep. Failing miserably at it, as usual.
So I turn on my T.V. to find that "Say Anything" is playing on FX. I've not seen this movie in quite some time. But I must admit to it being one of "those" films for me.
What do I mean by one of "those" films? It's inspiring. It's simple, eloquent and beautiful. The movie is about the characters, and is a wonderful testament to the ability of film to tell a story. A story that we can immediately recognize as a story about us. It's not about us, of course. But it's amazing how some stories can grab us in such a strong way, the characters can be so easily recognizable to us that we feel like it's our story, our friends that we are experiencing the events with.
I wonder if I'll be able to make a film like that someday.
-Dave
So I turn on my T.V. to find that "Say Anything" is playing on FX. I've not seen this movie in quite some time. But I must admit to it being one of "those" films for me.
What do I mean by one of "those" films? It's inspiring. It's simple, eloquent and beautiful. The movie is about the characters, and is a wonderful testament to the ability of film to tell a story. A story that we can immediately recognize as a story about us. It's not about us, of course. But it's amazing how some stories can grab us in such a strong way, the characters can be so easily recognizable to us that we feel like it's our story, our friends that we are experiencing the events with.
I wonder if I'll be able to make a film like that someday.
-Dave
6/18/2004
"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction."
"A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later."
–Stanley Kubrick
That quote was uttered by one of my favorite directors. And in it, you can hear and personally begin to visualize every film he ever made. It's amazing how gifted a director he was, and it's amazing to see him sum up his own directing style in so tiny a description. He was often criticized for becoming too technical in his work, that his later films lacked a soul. I disagree. His latter films didn't lack soul, it was there in every frame of the films. The soul of a Kubrick film wasn't in the characters or events of the piece, but it was rather the piece itself.
It was there in every minute detail he spent hours getting perfect. It was there in the radical attention devoted to color and depth in every single image in the scenes. Kubrick's latter films didn't lack soul, if anything they screamed of it. His very essence was imprinted into everything he did in "Eyes Wide Shut".
That movie, is more like a concert piece, conducted by the composer himself. If you watch the movie and pay attention to the rythm of it, the poetic fluidity of it, you will find Stanley Kubrick.
No one in recent history has managed to so thoroughly imprint themselves into their films the way he did. And whether you like the films or not, you can't deny the power of an artist to express himself through his art. Which is what Stanley Kubrick ultimately did. He expressed himself, in his art.
-Dave
–Stanley Kubrick
That quote was uttered by one of my favorite directors. And in it, you can hear and personally begin to visualize every film he ever made. It's amazing how gifted a director he was, and it's amazing to see him sum up his own directing style in so tiny a description. He was often criticized for becoming too technical in his work, that his later films lacked a soul. I disagree. His latter films didn't lack soul, it was there in every frame of the films. The soul of a Kubrick film wasn't in the characters or events of the piece, but it was rather the piece itself.
It was there in every minute detail he spent hours getting perfect. It was there in the radical attention devoted to color and depth in every single image in the scenes. Kubrick's latter films didn't lack soul, if anything they screamed of it. His very essence was imprinted into everything he did in "Eyes Wide Shut".
That movie, is more like a concert piece, conducted by the composer himself. If you watch the movie and pay attention to the rythm of it, the poetic fluidity of it, you will find Stanley Kubrick.
No one in recent history has managed to so thoroughly imprint themselves into their films the way he did. And whether you like the films or not, you can't deny the power of an artist to express himself through his art. Which is what Stanley Kubrick ultimately did. He expressed himself, in his art.
-Dave
6/13/2004
I Love It When We're Cruising Together...
The sun is shining. The birds outside my patio are chirping. There are beautiful girls laying out by the pool.
I think I'll go see a movie today.
;-)
-Dave
I think I'll go see a movie today.
;-)
-Dave
6/11/2004
Songs from the road...
Well, let's see... two weeks ago I was in Vegas. Last weekend I was in Indianapolis.
Know what all this traveling has made me realize? I need to get back into traveling frequently. I'm far happier when I am traveling than I am when I am cooped up at home.
-Dave
Know what all this traveling has made me realize? I need to get back into traveling frequently. I'm far happier when I am traveling than I am when I am cooped up at home.
-Dave
6/07/2004
It was the best of times... It was the worst of times...
How does one write about a weekend that was filled with both the extremeties of joy and sorrow as this one has been?
We buried my Uncle Bob on Saturday. It was without a doubt, "the worst of times." However, because of his death I was able, along with my sisters, to reconnect and enjoy the love we share with cousins we haven't seen in nearly 20 years. The simple act of reconnecting with them being amongst the "best of times."
And while we mourn the passing of my Uncle, a man who was devoted to his children and who was known by all who knew him as a good man with a big heart and a great sense of humor, he has done what he seemed to never be able to do in his life... he has brought this family closer together than it has been in over 20 years. I for one intend to work very hard to keep in touch with Eric, Jennifer, Brian and Jessica in the years to come.
I hate that through the years they have become like strangers to me. People I've heard of but never talked to. Family that I know of and yet know not. This to me is unacceptable. This will not go on. It can't.
And I'm sure Bob would want us to stop wasting anymore time and start getting to know one another better. There's a lot of love in this family, it's time we start sharing it with one another.
Oh... and tomorrow, on the way home we have a 2 hour layover in Dallas. Bryan (With a "Y" for those in the know) is going to meet us there and my family and I will get our first glimpse of him as a sober person. He's approaching 6 months sober now and seems to be doing fairly well based on the phone conversations I have had with him over the past week. It'll be nice, and weird seeing him again. I'll be sure to let you, dear reader, know more after tomorrow.
Until next time! Go with love in your hearts and joy in your spirit for somewhere in this Universe there is LOVE for everyone.
-Dave
We buried my Uncle Bob on Saturday. It was without a doubt, "the worst of times." However, because of his death I was able, along with my sisters, to reconnect and enjoy the love we share with cousins we haven't seen in nearly 20 years. The simple act of reconnecting with them being amongst the "best of times."
And while we mourn the passing of my Uncle, a man who was devoted to his children and who was known by all who knew him as a good man with a big heart and a great sense of humor, he has done what he seemed to never be able to do in his life... he has brought this family closer together than it has been in over 20 years. I for one intend to work very hard to keep in touch with Eric, Jennifer, Brian and Jessica in the years to come.
I hate that through the years they have become like strangers to me. People I've heard of but never talked to. Family that I know of and yet know not. This to me is unacceptable. This will not go on. It can't.
And I'm sure Bob would want us to stop wasting anymore time and start getting to know one another better. There's a lot of love in this family, it's time we start sharing it with one another.
Oh... and tomorrow, on the way home we have a 2 hour layover in Dallas. Bryan (With a "Y" for those in the know) is going to meet us there and my family and I will get our first glimpse of him as a sober person. He's approaching 6 months sober now and seems to be doing fairly well based on the phone conversations I have had with him over the past week. It'll be nice, and weird seeing him again. I'll be sure to let you, dear reader, know more after tomorrow.
Until next time! Go with love in your hearts and joy in your spirit for somewhere in this Universe there is LOVE for everyone.
-Dave
6/01/2004
Momma said there'd be days like this...
So, I had a brilliant time in Vegas this weekend. I especially enjoyed the time I got to spend with Alissa. She's just about the coolest woman I've met in a very, very long time. I'm really looking forward to our new friendship as it blossoms over the foreseeable future.
Maybe I'll write more on Vegas later... but then again... It's Vegas baby! What's happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! Ya dig?
So Memorial Day. I had all these great plans for finishing a bunch of work I had on the table. And finally getting caught up. But as is usual, the likelihood of one of my well planned days actually going to plan was nil.
I woke up in the midday to Mom moaning and crying. She was in the throes of a very large panic attack. You see, Mom began seeing a psychiatrist last week and this psychiatrist made her talk about her childhood. This is the vast expanse of pain and suffering that has haunted Mom her whole adult life. She needs to confront it, but it's going to be a long and arduous journey.
So with Mom in a state, there was nothing I could do but focus my attentions on her and try to help her out of it. As such we spent the whole day out of the house in an effort to get her out of the darkness and into the light. So we (Donald and I) took her to lunch, and then we took her to see a movie she'd been wanting to see (Day after Tomorrow, -eh, whatever! Underwhelmed), and then we took her to the Oceanside Pier. It was while at the pier that she really seemed to find her calm.
As Alissa said to me this morning... There's something about the Ocean that is just soothing. She's right. The Ocean has an ability to calm the senses that is so incredibly powerful, it's amazing to witness. I'm going to have to remember to take Mom there more frequently.
So anyway, that was yesterday... Now I wonder what's in store for today?
-Dave
Maybe I'll write more on Vegas later... but then again... It's Vegas baby! What's happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! Ya dig?
So Memorial Day. I had all these great plans for finishing a bunch of work I had on the table. And finally getting caught up. But as is usual, the likelihood of one of my well planned days actually going to plan was nil.
I woke up in the midday to Mom moaning and crying. She was in the throes of a very large panic attack. You see, Mom began seeing a psychiatrist last week and this psychiatrist made her talk about her childhood. This is the vast expanse of pain and suffering that has haunted Mom her whole adult life. She needs to confront it, but it's going to be a long and arduous journey.
So with Mom in a state, there was nothing I could do but focus my attentions on her and try to help her out of it. As such we spent the whole day out of the house in an effort to get her out of the darkness and into the light. So we (Donald and I) took her to lunch, and then we took her to see a movie she'd been wanting to see (Day after Tomorrow, -eh, whatever! Underwhelmed), and then we took her to the Oceanside Pier. It was while at the pier that she really seemed to find her calm.
As Alissa said to me this morning... There's something about the Ocean that is just soothing. She's right. The Ocean has an ability to calm the senses that is so incredibly powerful, it's amazing to witness. I'm going to have to remember to take Mom there more frequently.
So anyway, that was yesterday... Now I wonder what's in store for today?
-Dave
5/31/2004
MacMovieMaker.com
I have now become a contributor and moderator at the website MacMovieMaker.com. I've written a nice description of who I am there. The text of that intro follows:
_______________________________
Ok, I've already posted two items to the boards for review and forced my opinions onto a few other posts. So how about letting you know just who I am?
My name is David Sean Dawson (remember it... you'll see it on a marquee near you someday!) I am 29 and I currently reside in the North County region of San Diego.
When I first left high school I went to Baylor University as a Technical Theatre Major with an Acting Minor. I spent two years studying at Baylor before leaving for Dallas where I'd landed a job at Vari*Lite. Vari*Lite is one of the leading companies in automated lighting systems for concerts, theatre and film production in the world. Dallas is their worldwide headquarters.
After a year in Dallas I decided it was time to return to the Sunny Shores™ of Southern California. So I packed my bags and returned home. I spent the next seven years working as a freelance lighting/sound/sets technician in the theatrical and corporate events markets.
About five years ago my father had open heart surgery and required me to return to the "full-time" grind to help him cover his life expenses while he recovered. So I took up a full-time position as a road-technician for an Audio Visual Production company and I spent a year to a year and a half working on the road as a tech. This job was great since it covered so many aspects of production from sound to video to graphics to project managing.
While on the road I bought a Sony Digital-8 Camcorder and an iMac (I'd been using Macs since Baylor). I chronicled everything we did on the road and started editing neat "vacation" videos with iMovie. I loved how simple video editing had now become and I learned through the biz that Hi-Def was on it's way and that motion pictures were soon going to open up as a possibility for the low budget filmmaker who doesn't want to shoot film! So once Dad no longer needed me to work I went back to school!
I attended the local community college Palomar College where they have a well respected Radio and Television certification program. I began making movies my first year there. Shortly before attending classes I landed my first contract as a video producer with the Surf Cup Soccer Tournaments. They hired me to shoot and edit together a 7 minute promotional video for them. I used the money made (most paid in advance) to purchase a Canon XL-1 and some support equipment and Final Cut Pro 1.0. Yeah, I've been an FCP user since six months after it's release!
So with XL-1 in hand and a wealth of production knowledge already gained through my years in production environments I set out to get straight A's at school. And I did. The greatest achievement I have there, however, was that my goal was to get nominated for a student EMMY prior to leaving the program there and I achieved that goal with my very first short film.
One project, one year, one regional EMMY nomination! I was stoked. I followed that nomination the second year there with another nomination for a 1-hour live-to-tape in-studio talk show I produced about Terrorism. (This was the semester of 9-11). And again, in my third year I was nominated again for a short film I produced/wrote/directed/edited called "Spoof Wars: Episode MICK: Generation Jedi". A fan film that was created for the first Atom Films Star Wars Fan Film Contest. Atom Films didn't pick it up, but to the best of my knowledge, it's the only Fan Film to earn a nomination in the EMMY's.
So that was three years in a row that I was awarded nominations from the Pacific Southwest Regional Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. Not bad for a beginner!
I've since created a production company with my family (Everyone is into production now!) and we have been hard at work on short films and paid corporate gigs.
We are currently seeking financing for our first feature-film, a movie written by my Father. Currently the script is in the hands of Ivan Schwarz, one of the co-producers of the wildly successful and brilliant "Band of Brothers" from HBO. He has read the script and thinks it's a good project, he's currently showing it to some of his friends. So keep those fingers crossed for us!
We are also in pre-planning stages with two other companies regarding "reality-TV" based programming documenting youth players in International Soccer Tournaments. With any luck these two documentary projects will be getting off the ground next year with possible broadcast on Fox Sports or FOX in late 2005 early 2006.
So anyway, lots going on. I hope to contribute more to this forum in the months ahead. I enjoy helping people learn when I can.
Our company website can be visited by clicking here www.d2pinc.com. And don't forget to view and review my latest short film by clicking here!
Until next time!
David
_______________________________
Ok, I've already posted two items to the boards for review and forced my opinions onto a few other posts. So how about letting you know just who I am?
My name is David Sean Dawson (remember it... you'll see it on a marquee near you someday!) I am 29 and I currently reside in the North County region of San Diego.
When I first left high school I went to Baylor University as a Technical Theatre Major with an Acting Minor. I spent two years studying at Baylor before leaving for Dallas where I'd landed a job at Vari*Lite. Vari*Lite is one of the leading companies in automated lighting systems for concerts, theatre and film production in the world. Dallas is their worldwide headquarters.
After a year in Dallas I decided it was time to return to the Sunny Shores™ of Southern California. So I packed my bags and returned home. I spent the next seven years working as a freelance lighting/sound/sets technician in the theatrical and corporate events markets.
About five years ago my father had open heart surgery and required me to return to the "full-time" grind to help him cover his life expenses while he recovered. So I took up a full-time position as a road-technician for an Audio Visual Production company and I spent a year to a year and a half working on the road as a tech. This job was great since it covered so many aspects of production from sound to video to graphics to project managing.
While on the road I bought a Sony Digital-8 Camcorder and an iMac (I'd been using Macs since Baylor). I chronicled everything we did on the road and started editing neat "vacation" videos with iMovie. I loved how simple video editing had now become and I learned through the biz that Hi-Def was on it's way and that motion pictures were soon going to open up as a possibility for the low budget filmmaker who doesn't want to shoot film! So once Dad no longer needed me to work I went back to school!
I attended the local community college Palomar College where they have a well respected Radio and Television certification program. I began making movies my first year there. Shortly before attending classes I landed my first contract as a video producer with the Surf Cup Soccer Tournaments. They hired me to shoot and edit together a 7 minute promotional video for them. I used the money made (most paid in advance) to purchase a Canon XL-1 and some support equipment and Final Cut Pro 1.0. Yeah, I've been an FCP user since six months after it's release!
So with XL-1 in hand and a wealth of production knowledge already gained through my years in production environments I set out to get straight A's at school. And I did. The greatest achievement I have there, however, was that my goal was to get nominated for a student EMMY prior to leaving the program there and I achieved that goal with my very first short film.
One project, one year, one regional EMMY nomination! I was stoked. I followed that nomination the second year there with another nomination for a 1-hour live-to-tape in-studio talk show I produced about Terrorism. (This was the semester of 9-11). And again, in my third year I was nominated again for a short film I produced/wrote/directed/edited called "Spoof Wars: Episode MICK: Generation Jedi". A fan film that was created for the first Atom Films Star Wars Fan Film Contest. Atom Films didn't pick it up, but to the best of my knowledge, it's the only Fan Film to earn a nomination in the EMMY's.
So that was three years in a row that I was awarded nominations from the Pacific Southwest Regional Chapter of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. Not bad for a beginner!
I've since created a production company with my family (Everyone is into production now!) and we have been hard at work on short films and paid corporate gigs.
We are currently seeking financing for our first feature-film, a movie written by my Father. Currently the script is in the hands of Ivan Schwarz, one of the co-producers of the wildly successful and brilliant "Band of Brothers" from HBO. He has read the script and thinks it's a good project, he's currently showing it to some of his friends. So keep those fingers crossed for us!
We are also in pre-planning stages with two other companies regarding "reality-TV" based programming documenting youth players in International Soccer Tournaments. With any luck these two documentary projects will be getting off the ground next year with possible broadcast on Fox Sports or FOX in late 2005 early 2006.
So anyway, lots going on. I hope to contribute more to this forum in the months ahead. I enjoy helping people learn when I can.
Our company website can be visited by clicking here www.d2pinc.com. And don't forget to view and review my latest short film by clicking here!
Until next time!
David
5/28/2004
Bob Dawson
I got the news this morning. My Uncle Bob has died. Apparently from some respiratory disease he picked up in Egypt on his most recent business trip.
My Uncle Bob is the oldest of four sons. He was a large man with an equally large wit and sense of humor. Of my three Uncles on my Father's side, he was the one I've seen the least over the years. But when we have been together he was always kind and loving, and unquestionably a member of our family. He was full of our unmistakable sense of humor.
His daughter Jessica, who currently resides with her husband here in San Diego, had her second child two days before his passing. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her young family as they morn this terrible and surprising loss.
Uncle Bob, God Speed.
-Dave
My Uncle Bob is the oldest of four sons. He was a large man with an equally large wit and sense of humor. Of my three Uncles on my Father's side, he was the one I've seen the least over the years. But when we have been together he was always kind and loving, and unquestionably a member of our family. He was full of our unmistakable sense of humor.
His daughter Jessica, who currently resides with her husband here in San Diego, had her second child two days before his passing. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her young family as they morn this terrible and surprising loss.
Uncle Bob, God Speed.
-Dave
5/21/2004
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.
At last! Some good news coming in on the "Behind The Window" front!
Here's the deal... a couple of weeks ago Luca finally hooked us up in a meeting with Kevin Mabbutt. Kevin is a former soccer star from England. A very successful one at that. He now lives in Rancho Santa Fe and owns one of the very successful restaurants there. He is also an aspiring film producer and is currently hard at work trying to get a very popular soccer book turned into a film. That's been a long expensive road for him so far, but it's a journey that, like any real filmmaker, he's willing to take.
So anyway, we meet with Kevin and Luca and we pitch the script, the production and everything else about us to Kevin. It went really well. We instantly liked Kevin. He's a straight up kind of guy and we felt like he really listened to us when we were talking about our project. He took the script from us and asked if he could show it to Ivan Schwarz who is helping him get his soccer movie off the ground. Ivan is also Kevin's brother-in-law (I believe) and to top it all off he is also one of the co-producers of "Band Of Brothers". Mick was more than happy to let him show the script to someone we instantly had great respect for. (We loved "Band of Brothers" and we still recommend viewing it to people today!) So Kevin said he'd deliver the script to Ivan that weekend. Cool.
After we were done pitching it seemed that Kevin was ready to pitch some ideas of his own. The man really wants to make soccer films, T.V. Shows and documentaries. He's so passionate about getting soccer on the screen. It's really very cool. So he discussed with us a few of his documentary ideas and some of his film ideas. He was very interested in discussing the soccer productions with us some more in the near future, but we had to bring that meeting to a close because of everyone's schedules.
So Mick and I left that day feeling like it was the best meeting we'd had for Dawson Digital Productions so far...
And it's getting better.
On my birthday, Tuesday May 18, Kevin tells Dad that he's having lunch with Ivan and that Ivan has told him he's looked over "Behind The Window" and that they'll talk about it at lunch. Exciting stuff. Mick could barely contain his excitement and nervousness. Kevin also told him that he wants to discuss shooting a series of documentaries around the Surf Cup and some of the players/teams competing there. Good stuff.
So Kevin goes into his lunch with Ivan, one of a few meetings he had scheduled for the afternoon, and we are told to call him the next day for news.
The wait was unbearable. It's a good thing it was my birthday, 'cause it kept us distracted. Sort of.
So on Wednesday, Kevin talks to Dad and says that Ivan has read half of the screenplay. ***dramatic pause*** He likes what he's read so far. Says it's well written, a good story, very well crafted and timely. He promises to finish the script by his meeting with Kevin next week and would like to show it to a few of his other producer friends as a potential project to think about.
WOOHOO!!!!
Awesome stuff. If he likes it after the first half, he's gonna like it after the second too. Personally I feel the second half is the strongest. Maybe not a strong enough ending, but that's workable! The main thing is he likes it!
We are so excited around here it's amazing.
So we are waiting until next week to hear more. But the possibilities of this project going forward are increasing exponentially with the fact that a "Band Of Brothers" producer likes the script. THAT'S HUGE!!!!
And we still are going to pursue soccer films with Kevin. So lots going on here now!
Until next time!
-Dave
Here's the deal... a couple of weeks ago Luca finally hooked us up in a meeting with Kevin Mabbutt. Kevin is a former soccer star from England. A very successful one at that. He now lives in Rancho Santa Fe and owns one of the very successful restaurants there. He is also an aspiring film producer and is currently hard at work trying to get a very popular soccer book turned into a film. That's been a long expensive road for him so far, but it's a journey that, like any real filmmaker, he's willing to take.
So anyway, we meet with Kevin and Luca and we pitch the script, the production and everything else about us to Kevin. It went really well. We instantly liked Kevin. He's a straight up kind of guy and we felt like he really listened to us when we were talking about our project. He took the script from us and asked if he could show it to Ivan Schwarz who is helping him get his soccer movie off the ground. Ivan is also Kevin's brother-in-law (I believe) and to top it all off he is also one of the co-producers of "Band Of Brothers". Mick was more than happy to let him show the script to someone we instantly had great respect for. (We loved "Band of Brothers" and we still recommend viewing it to people today!) So Kevin said he'd deliver the script to Ivan that weekend. Cool.
After we were done pitching it seemed that Kevin was ready to pitch some ideas of his own. The man really wants to make soccer films, T.V. Shows and documentaries. He's so passionate about getting soccer on the screen. It's really very cool. So he discussed with us a few of his documentary ideas and some of his film ideas. He was very interested in discussing the soccer productions with us some more in the near future, but we had to bring that meeting to a close because of everyone's schedules.
So Mick and I left that day feeling like it was the best meeting we'd had for Dawson Digital Productions so far...
And it's getting better.
On my birthday, Tuesday May 18, Kevin tells Dad that he's having lunch with Ivan and that Ivan has told him he's looked over "Behind The Window" and that they'll talk about it at lunch. Exciting stuff. Mick could barely contain his excitement and nervousness. Kevin also told him that he wants to discuss shooting a series of documentaries around the Surf Cup and some of the players/teams competing there. Good stuff.
So Kevin goes into his lunch with Ivan, one of a few meetings he had scheduled for the afternoon, and we are told to call him the next day for news.
The wait was unbearable. It's a good thing it was my birthday, 'cause it kept us distracted. Sort of.
So on Wednesday, Kevin talks to Dad and says that Ivan has read half of the screenplay. ***dramatic pause*** He likes what he's read so far. Says it's well written, a good story, very well crafted and timely. He promises to finish the script by his meeting with Kevin next week and would like to show it to a few of his other producer friends as a potential project to think about.
WOOHOO!!!!
Awesome stuff. If he likes it after the first half, he's gonna like it after the second too. Personally I feel the second half is the strongest. Maybe not a strong enough ending, but that's workable! The main thing is he likes it!
We are so excited around here it's amazing.
So we are waiting until next week to hear more. But the possibilities of this project going forward are increasing exponentially with the fact that a "Band Of Brothers" producer likes the script. THAT'S HUGE!!!!
And we still are going to pursue soccer films with Kevin. So lots going on here now!
Until next time!
-Dave
5/20/2004
And you run and you rush to catch up with the Sun but it's sinking...
My birthday was two days ago. It was nice. I woke up and got an IM from Amy wishing me a happy birthday. (Actually she called me first, but I didn't wake up fast enough to talk to her, so I was hearing her message on my voicemail when she IM'ed me.)
Then, the second person to wish me a happy birthday was Kurt, also on IM. He "sang" the Red Robin birthday song for me on IM. It was funny. Then he says, "Well I'll see you later tonight." Which he never says. So naturally my interest was piqued. So I ask him, "You know something I don't?" Hehehehe. Brief moment of nothing and then he says, "Well, I just figured I'd see my friend on his birthday! I want to take you to Fry's or something and buy you a gift. I'm terrible at that." Uh huh. Neither of my parents at that point had wished me a happy birthday and my Mother was sitting no more than ten feet away from me the whole time I was chatting on the computer. I KNEW something was up.
Then, after hanging around Mom for an hour, she finally says Happy Birthday. Like she'd forgotten. Except we'd talked about it just the night before. RRRRRRiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhtttt.
Dad then calls. He talks to me for about 5 minutes and then says goodbye. No mention of my birthday. Now let's be perfectly clear. Dad never forgets his kid's birthday. NEVER. So now, I know something's up.
So I spend the rest of the day playing the game. Trying to see if anyone will slip. Everyone, at some point in the day makes an "ALMOST" slip. It's quite amusing. Vanessa gave me some great Taz gifts at the Polo Fields before we started working.
Finally... I'm heading home to Dad's house, where I've been told Mom is making a meal for me and Dad and Teesa to have. I "ask" Vanessa to join us and tell Teesa to call Kurt. (I had my suspicions that Kurt was already involved, but I wasn't so sure about Vanessa.) So anyway, as I pull up to the apartment complex that Dad lives in I see a car that looks like my friend Sheryl's. I think, "Hmmmm... peculiar". And then I notice the final give away. A couple of cars ahead of Sheryl's on the street is the unmistakable maroon colored Toyota POS that can only belong to my good friend Daniel. There's no mistaking this car, especially after you see "THE CLUB" firmly in place on his beat-up old stearing wheel.
So naturally I wander into the rest of the parking lot looking around. There's Kurts car, Sarah's here too... Wow. They managed to get all of my friends here. Nice.
So I go walking up the lot towards the apartment. I see Mom come out on the patio as Dad moves in the front door. Mom finally spots me as I come underneath the porch. She turns into the room and very discreetly (insert sarcastic/humorous tone here) yells to the crowd in the room, "He's here! He's here! Shhhhh!"
It was so sweet and so cute and so not a surprise. But it was a valiant and welcome effort that I greatly appreciate and admire. My family and friends are the greatest in the world. And I am the luckiest Birthday Boy in the world because of them.
**I also got some cool clothes and some Mini-DV tapes! Gifts are Rad!
-Dave
Then, the second person to wish me a happy birthday was Kurt, also on IM. He "sang" the Red Robin birthday song for me on IM. It was funny. Then he says, "Well I'll see you later tonight." Which he never says. So naturally my interest was piqued. So I ask him, "You know something I don't?" Hehehehe. Brief moment of nothing and then he says, "Well, I just figured I'd see my friend on his birthday! I want to take you to Fry's or something and buy you a gift. I'm terrible at that." Uh huh. Neither of my parents at that point had wished me a happy birthday and my Mother was sitting no more than ten feet away from me the whole time I was chatting on the computer. I KNEW something was up.
Then, after hanging around Mom for an hour, she finally says Happy Birthday. Like she'd forgotten. Except we'd talked about it just the night before. RRRRRRiiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhtttt.
Dad then calls. He talks to me for about 5 minutes and then says goodbye. No mention of my birthday. Now let's be perfectly clear. Dad never forgets his kid's birthday. NEVER. So now, I know something's up.
So I spend the rest of the day playing the game. Trying to see if anyone will slip. Everyone, at some point in the day makes an "ALMOST" slip. It's quite amusing. Vanessa gave me some great Taz gifts at the Polo Fields before we started working.
Finally... I'm heading home to Dad's house, where I've been told Mom is making a meal for me and Dad and Teesa to have. I "ask" Vanessa to join us and tell Teesa to call Kurt. (I had my suspicions that Kurt was already involved, but I wasn't so sure about Vanessa.) So anyway, as I pull up to the apartment complex that Dad lives in I see a car that looks like my friend Sheryl's. I think, "Hmmmm... peculiar". And then I notice the final give away. A couple of cars ahead of Sheryl's on the street is the unmistakable maroon colored Toyota POS that can only belong to my good friend Daniel. There's no mistaking this car, especially after you see "THE CLUB" firmly in place on his beat-up old stearing wheel.
So naturally I wander into the rest of the parking lot looking around. There's Kurts car, Sarah's here too... Wow. They managed to get all of my friends here. Nice.
So I go walking up the lot towards the apartment. I see Mom come out on the patio as Dad moves in the front door. Mom finally spots me as I come underneath the porch. She turns into the room and very discreetly (insert sarcastic/humorous tone here) yells to the crowd in the room, "He's here! He's here! Shhhhh!"
It was so sweet and so cute and so not a surprise. But it was a valiant and welcome effort that I greatly appreciate and admire. My family and friends are the greatest in the world. And I am the luckiest Birthday Boy in the world because of them.
**I also got some cool clothes and some Mini-DV tapes! Gifts are Rad!
-Dave
5/18/2004
Oh what a wonderful Tea Party...
Well, it's finally over. Adam Davis has finally become my *choke* brother-in-law.
The wedding was absolutely magical. Laura and Adam had what is undoubtedly the best wedding I have ever been to in my life. EVER!
From the perfect weather, to the beautiful horse drawn carriage that brought Laura to the altar, to the Reverend Kurt T. Jordan officiating... it was a day of beauty, family, friends and most importantly, LOVE. Their love and the love of their family and friends enveloped all of us like a warm blanket. You could feel it in the air. It was a very special time and one none of us will ever forget.
I'll be posting the photos to the web soon. For now I'll put one photo here. Isn't Laura just the picture of beauty? She was positively radiant all day!
-Dave
****Oh yeah, today's my 29th birthday. Go me!
The wedding was absolutely magical. Laura and Adam had what is undoubtedly the best wedding I have ever been to in my life. EVER!
From the perfect weather, to the beautiful horse drawn carriage that brought Laura to the altar, to the Reverend Kurt T. Jordan officiating... it was a day of beauty, family, friends and most importantly, LOVE. Their love and the love of their family and friends enveloped all of us like a warm blanket. You could feel it in the air. It was a very special time and one none of us will ever forget.
I'll be posting the photos to the web soon. For now I'll put one photo here. Isn't Laura just the picture of beauty? She was positively radiant all day!
-Dave
****Oh yeah, today's my 29th birthday. Go me!
5/02/2004
Two years...
Well, it's been two years or so since I started writing my thoughts online. (It's only been archived since January 2003)
I initially started the journal to let the world in on how I was dealing with my Mother being ill, and to help explain to everyone just what was (and still is) wrong with her.
Well, she's made some progress, and she's also not. She's moved on and she's not. Mom's illness, like so many things in her life is complicated beyond belief. Some days she's highly optimistic, other days she acts as though she'd prefer it to all end.
It's a very difficult rollercoaster of emotions and psychological turmoil that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Of late, I have to admit I've started feeling burdened by it all. Now I know that's a kind of selfish indulgence I'm allowing myself to feel, but I have to allow myself to feel it. To admit to it. Mom lives with me. She has primarily lived with me now for nearly two years. God bless Steve, my roommate, for allowing this to happen and not making a big deal of it. His understanding and care for my Mother has been a real blessing.
But I can't help but feel that Mom's presence is a real added burden to an already small apartment living situation. On top of the fact that she is living there, she has also not assisted in the rent and has only occasionally stepped up and paid any of our bills. Not that I am wanting her to pay for anything in its entirety, but some assistance on a regular basis would be both helpful and appreciated.
I've also felt that through a big portion of her time with me she has really taken what I've offered for her and tried to give to her for granted. I don't feel like she really appreciates what I do for her. And she very often says things to me that are hurtful and mean.
Granted, she has become better at recognizing when she's hurt me, and she has started apologizing on occasion. But the fact that she would allow herself to hurt me to begin with has me wondering just how much effort I really should be devoting to trying to help her out.
It's exhausting, it's often annoying and I am always terrified of her next outburst. So I often find myself depressed and trying to just exist in my own house in a manner that won't get me on her bad side. As though I am living with my Mom rather than her living with me. Does that make sense? It's a subtle distinction but a very important one I think.
I don't know... I feel like I'm rambling. And maybe I am. Here it is, Sunday, and I am "hanging out" in Lancaster. LANCASTER! It's hotter than hell up here and there is nowhere to go and nothing to do except sit in the sun and watch soccer games being played by kids I don't even know. But I had to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I couldn't stand to be at MY house for the weekend. I couldn't spend another minute there.
And so here I sit. Wondering what I can do to fix the situation I'm in while I cook in the High Desert Sun.
Hmmmph.
-Dave
I initially started the journal to let the world in on how I was dealing with my Mother being ill, and to help explain to everyone just what was (and still is) wrong with her.
Well, she's made some progress, and she's also not. She's moved on and she's not. Mom's illness, like so many things in her life is complicated beyond belief. Some days she's highly optimistic, other days she acts as though she'd prefer it to all end.
It's a very difficult rollercoaster of emotions and psychological turmoil that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Of late, I have to admit I've started feeling burdened by it all. Now I know that's a kind of selfish indulgence I'm allowing myself to feel, but I have to allow myself to feel it. To admit to it. Mom lives with me. She has primarily lived with me now for nearly two years. God bless Steve, my roommate, for allowing this to happen and not making a big deal of it. His understanding and care for my Mother has been a real blessing.
But I can't help but feel that Mom's presence is a real added burden to an already small apartment living situation. On top of the fact that she is living there, she has also not assisted in the rent and has only occasionally stepped up and paid any of our bills. Not that I am wanting her to pay for anything in its entirety, but some assistance on a regular basis would be both helpful and appreciated.
I've also felt that through a big portion of her time with me she has really taken what I've offered for her and tried to give to her for granted. I don't feel like she really appreciates what I do for her. And she very often says things to me that are hurtful and mean.
Granted, she has become better at recognizing when she's hurt me, and she has started apologizing on occasion. But the fact that she would allow herself to hurt me to begin with has me wondering just how much effort I really should be devoting to trying to help her out.
It's exhausting, it's often annoying and I am always terrified of her next outburst. So I often find myself depressed and trying to just exist in my own house in a manner that won't get me on her bad side. As though I am living with my Mom rather than her living with me. Does that make sense? It's a subtle distinction but a very important one I think.
I don't know... I feel like I'm rambling. And maybe I am. Here it is, Sunday, and I am "hanging out" in Lancaster. LANCASTER! It's hotter than hell up here and there is nowhere to go and nothing to do except sit in the sun and watch soccer games being played by kids I don't even know. But I had to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. I couldn't stand to be at MY house for the weekend. I couldn't spend another minute there.
And so here I sit. Wondering what I can do to fix the situation I'm in while I cook in the High Desert Sun.
Hmmmph.
-Dave
4/22/2004
4/19/2004
Feeling pretty low...
Ok, maybe it's the fact that I worked another wedding. Maybe it's because funding for "Behind the Window" is still dragging along. Maybe it's the phone conversation I just had with my Mother. Maybe it's all of the above...
But I'm feeling like shit today.
"Behind the Window" is dragging on in pre-development hell. It's an unending roller-coaster of ups and downs. One day to the next it's "looking good", it's "no news today", it's "so and so is interested", it's "well... I'll definitely be in on the next one." It's so frustrating and disheartening. I'm starting to really understand why you hear about films taking 5-10 years to "make". 85-95% of that time is coming up with funding. So yeah, that's got me a little bit down.
I spent all of yesterday working Karrie Jordan and Beto Campos' wedding. It was a beautiful day (aside from the rain). Karrie looked ravishing in her white dress and she and Beto make a truly cute couple. But something about weddings makes me down. It might have something to do with the fact that I've kind of come to the conclusion that I won't ever have one. That's kind of a tough pill to swallow. And Mom reiterated to me today just how pathetic and sad it is. And she lays the blame on that entirely on my shoulders.
Granted I have made a decision to not pursue a relationship with anyone. That's a decision I've made on at least 10 different occasions over the past 10 years. You see, what most people don't understand is that just because I've "made that decision", it doesn't mean I haven't had my pursuits. I've been infatuated, in and out of love and in lust many many times over the past 10 years. I've also experienced plenty of rejection and heartache in this time.
Just because most of you don't hear about it, doesn't mean I don't go through it.
And when I do go through it, and I let people in... well... no one EVER likes the girls I fall for.
I don't know.
Right now... I'm crying and I'm depressed and I'm really on the verge. And I feel like I have no one to turn to for anything.
Just my fucking computer. The only constant in my life. And the only thing that doesn't judge me. Or tell me I'm full of shit. Or full of myself. Or self indulgent. Or overbearing. Or an Asshole. Or fat. Or unattractive. Or lazy. Or a failure.
It's no wonder I spend so much time on these fucking machines.
Shit. I don't even think anyone reads this journal anymore. I don't know why I even bother writing in it.
Night.
-Dave
But I'm feeling like shit today.
"Behind the Window" is dragging on in pre-development hell. It's an unending roller-coaster of ups and downs. One day to the next it's "looking good", it's "no news today", it's "so and so is interested", it's "well... I'll definitely be in on the next one." It's so frustrating and disheartening. I'm starting to really understand why you hear about films taking 5-10 years to "make". 85-95% of that time is coming up with funding. So yeah, that's got me a little bit down.
I spent all of yesterday working Karrie Jordan and Beto Campos' wedding. It was a beautiful day (aside from the rain). Karrie looked ravishing in her white dress and she and Beto make a truly cute couple. But something about weddings makes me down. It might have something to do with the fact that I've kind of come to the conclusion that I won't ever have one. That's kind of a tough pill to swallow. And Mom reiterated to me today just how pathetic and sad it is. And she lays the blame on that entirely on my shoulders.
Granted I have made a decision to not pursue a relationship with anyone. That's a decision I've made on at least 10 different occasions over the past 10 years. You see, what most people don't understand is that just because I've "made that decision", it doesn't mean I haven't had my pursuits. I've been infatuated, in and out of love and in lust many many times over the past 10 years. I've also experienced plenty of rejection and heartache in this time.
Just because most of you don't hear about it, doesn't mean I don't go through it.
And when I do go through it, and I let people in... well... no one EVER likes the girls I fall for.
I don't know.
Right now... I'm crying and I'm depressed and I'm really on the verge. And I feel like I have no one to turn to for anything.
Just my fucking computer. The only constant in my life. And the only thing that doesn't judge me. Or tell me I'm full of shit. Or full of myself. Or self indulgent. Or overbearing. Or an Asshole. Or fat. Or unattractive. Or lazy. Or a failure.
It's no wonder I spend so much time on these fucking machines.
Shit. I don't even think anyone reads this journal anymore. I don't know why I even bother writing in it.
Night.
-Dave
4/04/2004
So I'm going with Steve to see Kevin Smith's "Jersey Girl" today. I know it's been getting mixed reviews, but I think a lot of that has to do with the totally immature fanbase of Kevin's past films. This movie, admittedly, is not meant for them. It's Kevin's first attempt at a more mature and mainstream audience.
To me it's the inevitable evolution of an artist. At first the art is all about themselves. They work because they want to work and they enjoy doing it. As they grow and mature in what they are doing, and as they grow more confident in their own abilities, their focus shifts from pleasing only themselves and maybe a handful of others into a more broad desire to entertain and appeal to the larger masses.
It'll be interesting to see how well Kevin makes this transition. I just hope he doesn't lose all of his edge as he grows into this new direction of filmmaking.
Now playing on my iTunes: Kokomo from the album The Greatest Hits Vol 1 by The Beach Boys
So, I had to cancel the "Queer Eye For The Jedi" film's shoot this weekend. It's devestating. I've never cancelled a shoot before. But....
My truck... as much as I love it, has been kicking my ass for a few days now. First it dies, then it won't start back up. Then it starts, I drive it all the way back home and then it dies again. And won't start. Now it starts again.
And on and on....
We've come to the belief that it is one fuel pump short of having a complete fuel system. Kind of a strange thing to have missing... but that's our diagnosis.
Well... Dad has said it before...
Welcome to the club of destitute car owners...
Great, thank you for having me.
3/29/2004
Ain't It Cool?
Ain't It Cool News posted a movie review I wrote and submitted to them the other day. It showed up on the site this morning. I'm stoked.
Check it out, it's the review on "Disney's Home On The Range". It's a positive review, so naturally all the internet geeks who troll about the rumor/news sites are calling me a "studio plant". It's quite amusing.
ROCK ON!
-Dave
Triple Letter Score
So last night Mom, Donald, Steve and I got into a game of Scrabble.
Yes, I know... the game does still exist. Mom's been trying to get me to play with her for a couple of months now. Nothing like making her work for it! I finally gave in last night.
We started playing around 10. Mostly because the internet slowed to a crawl and I couldn't get anything done. So I decided to pass some time playing the game with Mom and Donald.
Well, Steve got home from work around 1:30am. He joined in.
It was funny. We all got so competitive that when the internet did come back on we hooked up the laptop and started using Scrabble.com's online dictionary to verify everyone's words. Steve got to the point where he couldn't put any word down without checking it first.
So we fought and we battled our way through the night. Eventually the morning sun began to ignite the colors of the scrabble board in the morning rays. We suddenly realized we'd played all through the night when we finally decided to call it quits.
Oh and for those counting... Donald won the first game and then Mom proceeded to trounce us all through the next 5!
D'oh!
-Dave
3/19/2004
Another week gone by...
Another week has come and gone. This week saw the completion of another promo video, this time for Full90 Sports. It's a video I am actually fairly proud of. One of the better videos I've concocted.
They are using it as part of their submission to the ISPO BrandNew Award. I hope that they win. It'd be a nice thing to have worked on a video that helped a company win a major worldwide competition.
Laura's wedding date is coming up fast. Hopefully I can get my act together and get her video made for the wedding. It's going to be a sweet video, but I've not had any real free time to devote to it. With any luck that free time will come in the next few weeks.
Mom is doing well and has finally found a group of doctors who truly seem like they can provide her with some real help. So we have our hopes up there.
Teesa is still recovering from her bout with Meningitis. Her back is pretty sore still. But she seems to be getting better, slowly but surely, every day.
Adam and Laura have discovered the joys of bowling and are actively pushing Teesa and Mom and I into the sport again. I even bought a new bowling ball. (Hey, it's tough for a big guy like me to find a ball in the alley that fits my fat fingers.) I haven't had a ball since I bowled league when I was 9. But hey, it's a cool ball and I am really enjoying myself.
Mikey Logan turned 4 months old last Saturday. He's so cute. I just love him to death! He makes me so happy, I absolutely adore him.
Dad lost the election for CYSA-S Secretary due to some behind the scenes politic-ing from the current President. Oh well. Maybe he'll be able to focus more on the movie stuff now.
Guess that's all for today. Have a good weekend everybody!
-Dave
3/12/2004
Nothing Much To Report
Not a whole lot of anything going on...
Working on a Full90 Project and getting Dawson Digital Productions underway.
First pre-production planning meeting for "Queer Eye for the Jedi" is tomorrow. That should be fun.
Mom's boyfriend Donald will probably be moving down to the area soon. That'll be good. She'll be happy to have everyone she loves close by.
I'll update again soon... hopefully I'll have more to say.
-Dave
2/24/2004
Wow... It's been a while...
It certainly has been a while since I've posted to the old blog...
Such is life. I've been so tremendously busy since November. Finishing "One Night At Rossi's" was a major undertaking... and immediately following that Dad, Teesa and I began working on forming Dawson Digital Productions, Inc. and creating a budget and shooting schedule for "Behind The Window", our first feature film. (Keep those fingers crossed as we pursue financing.)
It's been one hell of a time these past few months. And to top it all off, Teesa has come down with Viral Meningitis these last couple of weeks. So we went through a bit of a scare with her while the doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She even went to the ER and had a Spinal Tap done! (SPINAL TAP ROCKS!!!...er, uh... yeah...)
So anyway... I'm just plugging along at life right now. Excited about the possibilities of the future, and also, a bit scared.
But that's what makes life so exciting, you know?
I believe it was John Cusack in "Gross Pointe Blank" who is quoted when replying to the question of, "How's Life?" replied so eloquently with, "In progress."
In Progress... Sounds about right.
-Dave
Such is life. I've been so tremendously busy since November. Finishing "One Night At Rossi's" was a major undertaking... and immediately following that Dad, Teesa and I began working on forming Dawson Digital Productions, Inc. and creating a budget and shooting schedule for "Behind The Window", our first feature film. (Keep those fingers crossed as we pursue financing.)
It's been one hell of a time these past few months. And to top it all off, Teesa has come down with Viral Meningitis these last couple of weeks. So we went through a bit of a scare with her while the doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She even went to the ER and had a Spinal Tap done! (SPINAL TAP ROCKS!!!...er, uh... yeah...)
So anyway... I'm just plugging along at life right now. Excited about the possibilities of the future, and also, a bit scared.
But that's what makes life so exciting, you know?
I believe it was John Cusack in "Gross Pointe Blank" who is quoted when replying to the question of, "How's Life?" replied so eloquently with, "In progress."
In Progress... Sounds about right.
-Dave
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